That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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