He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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