he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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