Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
