better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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