We need to rekindle our bromance
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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