Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
