So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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