hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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