they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
