It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
