i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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