she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
