I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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