Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
