i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So many bounce houses so little time
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
