I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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