I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
