I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
