Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize