It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
