i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
