the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
