never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
