quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
