Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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