So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
