Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
