You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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