I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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