I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
