Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize