HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
this just has baby written all over it
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
