I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
