ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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