hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
