No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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