My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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