What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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