Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
