i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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