i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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