So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
