I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
