So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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