those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
