Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
