I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
