Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
