Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
