I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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