So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
