belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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