Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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