her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
