Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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