were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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