So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
