hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
