did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
