Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
